there are no words to describe what i'm feeling right now

is it the way his eyelashes feel fluttering on my forehead, after my head has been laying on his shoulder for the last 45 minutes?...

is it the way i catch him looking at me when we're in the car, sitting next to each other at the movies, eating at dinner, in the dark?...

is it the way he holds my face, looking straight into my eyes and kisses me?...

is it the way he makes me feel when he says he's going to call and goes above and beyond and calls me more than he needs to?...

is it the way i feel when i see him each time?...

is it the way he constantly reminds me that he loves hanging out with me?...

is it the way he kisses me when i make kissy sounds?...

is it the way he makes my heart flutter everytime i think about him?...

is it the way he calls me every morning, midafternoon, every evening (after we've already seen each other), and every time before he goes to bed?...

is it the way he subtley leaves his clothes, his dvds, his keys, his socks laying around my house?...

I don't know what it is...but my heart is feeling something...and I am loving it like a McDonalds commercial. : D

update

i've met the most amazing person and as i sit here typing with his tie around my neck...i think i'm going to take a breather from blogger/myspace/facebook/AND plentyoffish for awhile and just enjoy my time...um the time of my life.

if anyone needs to get in contact with me...you know how to reach me.

xoxo

36-year-old men are NOT for me

So went on a couple of dates.

Tye
The 36-year-old and I are no longer. I knew we'd have a problem when he and I were messaging over IM on yahoo. He stated something that made me realize he'd have a problem with my age and him being older...um nine years older. Which...is fine...because besides the fact that he is nine years my senior, he just isn't the dude for me.

First of all...if you're meeting someone at Yucatan Bar and Grill...(which is basically a bar outside and has a pool and a dozen volleyball courts, etc) for darts and billiards...wear jeans. Don't come on our date when it is f-ing 104 degrees outside and wear dress pants, a tan silk shirt and dress shoes. Who are you trying to impress? Your boss ain't here.

Second, stop trying to put me down and act like just because I'm 27 years old, I haven't experienced anything or I don't know anything about life. Please do not go there.

Third, he was a mother-fawkin' arrogant ass and I can't stand dudes like that. Kept talking about his money and how much he spent on his Chrysler Crossfire and his $600,000 home in Coppell. Dude...I don't care. When I offered to pay for my half, he was like "put away your money, i don't want you to go bankrupt". Oh know you didn't. *In my mind...I was snappin' fingers all across his face*


J
DID...go out with a VERY handsome 27-year-old who is 6'7" - which I am TOTALLY digging. I like the whole 6'7" deal. He gave great hugs and we're meeting up tomorrow. I can't wait.

www.plentyoffish.com

I will keep you guys posted.

stella got her groove back

so i went out to carson's on wednesday for $1 drink night and i actually had a decent time...except for the idiot dude that kept following me around.

I am a networker by heart and being laid off now, comes with consequences. I think I asked everyone in that bar what they do and if they're hiring, not to mention i gave out business cards. One dude told me it wasn't polite to ask what he did b/c I sounded like a gold-digger. I then continued on with my "don't worry...I'm not asking what you do b/c I want to know how much money you make or how much car I think you can afford, because 1) i have a better car and will always think that even if I were to drive a hooptie and 2) i will one day make more money than you, so you can cut the crap". I turned away and as soon as I started to take a step...he grabbed me and was like "I was just joking babe, you can ask me what I do any day". Um can we say DENIED?

Ol' idiot dude (the follower) said he was going to hook me up...but I have decided not to go that route, because ol' dude is also being denied! Talking to me out in the parking lot is one thing and is okay, but bending down to kitty level and shouting "i want to taste you" is not.

So everytime I go to Carsons I get a number/date/meet a few new guys to add to the list. Unfortunately ol' idiot guy keep trying to follow me around so it was kind of hard to get around to the guys who would touch my shoulder and try to talk or the guys who would buy me a drink. Ol' dude even asked an ex why he was talking to his woman. WTF?

Hopefully, when my friend Bev and I go back again next week, ol' dude WILL NOT be there and I can concentrate on getting dates. : )


Update: So a friend told me to get on plentyoffish.com and start looking around...as she had gone on a few dates with guys from there. Turns out that the site is free and it IS a decent place to look around. And fortunately for my addicting personality and great looks, I have three dates lined up.

One is a 36-year-old, one is a 27-year-old and one is a 24-year-old. I will keep you posted.

Loving life!

this week has f-ing sucked

I don't even know where to begin...except for Monday, in which this guy I was talking to (whom i had a thing for) decided to jet...well WE jetted. Friends is the only thing going for us now...which kind of saddens me because I have to wonder...are we even really friends? There have been no phone calls between either of us...so where does the word FRIEND come in? Oh well. On to Tuesday.

So Tuesday happens and let me just remind everyone (who loves their current job), that going BACK to work (a job you hate), after vacation...sucks. I DID NOT want to be there. And my stoopid boss was doing her usual...being stoopid.

So Tuesday thru Thursday is work as usual. I do all the work that my BOSS is supposed to do, while she loads more crap onto me, like usual. And I take it up the @ss like usual.

Friday rolls around and I come into work and I get laid off. WTF? My f-ing boss wants to restructure? And there's no room for my position anymore. Are you f-ing kidding me? Who the hell is going to do the project management, the writing (for EVERYTHING, ie: brochures, invitations, flyers, press releases, articles, CEO's letters, etc). Who will finish the Web site, make enewsletters and e-updates? Who will take all the pictures (b/c apparently my boss doesn't have that skill either). And who the fawk will do all of the administrative crap that a secretary is supposed to do that I've done for the past year and whatever. I guess I shouldn't worry myself with it...I no longer work there anymore.

And I hate to say it...but working there this long has turned me off against every one of them (being a particular race??? - don't go trippin' people...i just don't want to put out where i [used] to work...and there's only certain people that work there). I was never going to advance because I wasn't one of them...so I guess I should be glad I'm gone. Not to mention that I'll never have to tell my boss how to save a document or teach her how to use an excel document...ever again.

So...that was my Friday...well morning. Thankfully, the other company inside of THE same building...wanted me to help them on a contract basis for marketing purposes so at least i'm making $20/hour (instead of nothing) until I find a new job.

Once I left though to go back home with my lovely box and plant...when I was coming BACK to Dallas thinking that I had to work my part-time job, when I really didn't...I locked myself out of my house. Thankfully, I have a cheap lock and one of my neighbors broke in for me. Note to self: buy a better lock.

Anyways....my week has been shitty. So I need a hug. And a big one.

Note to everyone: I have over seven years of marketing/communications/design/publishing/photography/public relations/writing/editing experience...if ANYONE knows of any jobs/positions/part-time work...please let me in on it. My goal is to find a job before my severance runs out...so it'll be more like a bonus for leaving my crappy job. So please, pretty please...if you know of anything...please let me know.

please help me have a better week.

~me

i am a dumbass.

i should have known better.

i'm done.

update

so what's been goin on in my quaint little life...

1) my weekend. just got back from schlitterbahn. i go every year with Stacy and her family and it was a blast, just like last year's trip. i can't wait to go again in august to celebrate my bday. the chutes are amazing, the water is super friggin' cold, and the wave pool lazy river could have been the shiznit if only there hadn't have been so many people.

i need to start looking at hotels to find the cheapest rate for two nights in new braunfels for when we go in august.

2) blast from the past. so last wednesday before i left town, this guy that i dated in october (before i bought my house) from match.com, calls me up. he says his name and i'm like ditrick who? "you know the guy from match, we went and had coffee together". oh. oh yeah. in MY mind...OH. the heavily metrosexual that wore all the latest trendy stuff from dallas boutiques and who talked about his bmw, etc etc. not that being a metrosexual and buying all the trendy stuff from dallas boutiques is a bad thing. gosh i'm a bitch. *slaps back of hand* we only went out once.

but here he is calling me asking if he can submit his resume and put it back in the dating pile. really? seriously? i ask him why. "because i think you're beautiful, and you're really tall...and since I'm a tall guy, I need a tall girl". not...i really liked hanging out with you, or you're fun to be with, or i enjoyed getting to know you better...b/c i'm tall.

anyways...the dude wants to take me out to dinner and go to the movies and all that stuff. i am kinda diggin someone at the moment...but if he's going to be persistent...then i guess i can't turn him down. i'm not exactly anyone's girlfriend. i'll keep everyone posted.

3) goals. so i've decided that i'm going to apply for the fbi. i've always wanted to...and i don't want to be the age of 42 and regret that i didn't at least try. so i'm working on getting all of my stuff together.

4) school. i've also been looking for jobs/positions outside of DFW...in other cities and other states. i'd honestly really like to find a job in the austin/san antonio vicinity...so I can go back to school at southwest texas state (i refuse to call it texas state u), and get my masters in international public relations. but then again...i've also been looking heavily into florida, georgia and d.c.--my favorite states thus far.

5) the need for speed. i really need to get on the grind and find my paperwork for defensive driving. i have to have the class done by aug, 27th. i think i might try and take it next weekend...if not then, the first weekend in august.

6) pizza pizza. so my friend bev came over last night for dinner (we ate pizza hut) after i got back from my trip, and we had the best time giggling. at first i was going to cancel (b/c i was so damn tired), but i knew i had taken off Monday for this exact reason...and so I had her come over and it was great. and NOW i have a medium mia pizza to myself. yay!

anything else that happens, I'll update you guys. ciao!