happy halloween

ha! i can't believe it's Halloween and it's already November. Ugh.

Things that have been going on:
1) Looking for a job sucks. I feel like I've applied to everything...literally everything and anywhere. In the last couple of days, I have applied to over 60 jobs (in D.C., Austin, Virginia, Miami, Utah, California, Houston, Colorado, etc). Hopefully out of the jobs I keep applying to, SOMEONE will call me.

2) I guess on the up and up...an old friend/friend I dated is trying to give me some work for my business that will total up to what I was making at the last place...and I tell you...that would be effin' cool. I could work from home and make $52k easily. : )

3) I'm losing my belly. I've been working out everyday and doing crunches everyday and the stomach is starting to go down. I haven't been eating that much and I think it's because my stress level is still so high that I haven't thought about eating. Hopefully that's not the reason I've been losing weight. I can't not eat forever...it's only temporary until I can get my life back into the swing of things.

4) I've been crying lately (when I'm going to sleep, in the shower)...but putting a smile on my face to the people I care about...I still think about him and it sucks. You'd think all the stuff that John has pulled/done in the past month, that I would easily just forget about him...but I really do think my heart is broken, and like Dolli said..."your love tank has been depleted". I do know that I never want to fall in love again, or wear my heart on my sleeve...and it bothers me though that I think being an ice bitch on an everyday scale is better.

5) I really want to move out of Dallas. I've gained some great friendships that I will keep for life, but other than that, it is just bad memories. At 22, I found out I had cancerous cells and had to have surgery and told no one. I was laid off from my first job right out of college, not knowing what would happen. I then got a job with a boss who degraded me everyday, who sent me home crying and depressed because of the nasty things he would say. I've been stabbed in the back by my coworkers who didn't like the fact that I was faster/and more detail-oriented. I've lost friendships that I'll never get back. I've been crapped on by men. Worst...I've fallen in love for the first time, and was cheated on, only to have a whole bunch more shit happen with that. I was laid off again...and then terminated by some country-ass company because they thought I wouldn't fit in and b/c I outshined the bitch who was training me. I had a horrible closing on my house. I've had nothing but problems with my HOA company, the lender and the title company. I've been sick. I just want out. I know most of my friends think I'm running away and I know that if I move, all of this that I've described could very-well happen to me wherever I end up. But I WANT a fresh start, be it in Houston, Austin, out of Texas. I just want to get away. I need a change.

6) So there are good and smart people in the world...everyone knows I've been dealing with my HOA crap and the Title Company. Basically long story short...we didn't get the correct information at closing and I've been supposedly deliquent b/c of the Title Company's refusal to check things and the HOA company who doesn't care if they tell their residents the truth. So...I have been hacking away with the Title Company, asking them to pay all of these deliquent fees that have accrued and low and behold...they are. That means I will only have to pay $440...while they pay the rest. THAT my friends is some sweet music.

7) So I owe $210 for a speeding ticket by Nov. 1. I also thought I owed a $310 ticket for speeding in a school zone as well. Turns out that the judge had some mercy on me and allowed me 40 days to pay it...(since I'm laid off) AND also told me that if I still hadn't found a job, that I could just come back and pay it when I could...plus he dropped the fee down to a regular $255.Yay!

8) Lowes...whom I bought my fridge and washer/dryer from...messed up my bill and didn't put that I was on their deferred program for the washer/dryer and so my bill (without my knowledge--because I haven't looked at it, because I thought it was correct), has been accruing late fees and finance charges. First of all...automative phone telesystems suck ass. Not to mention that if I had gotten on the phone with another non-intelligent outsourced call to India...I was going to invisibly shoot someone...O-M-G. Anyways...finally got on the phone with someone who was intelligent enough to tell me that they, their company, Lowes, messed up. Ding, ding, ding, ding.

9) Saturday morning/mid-day: I am receiving a free FREE queen-size mattress from my cousin. Hopefully it'll fit my gorgeous bed that I bought. I'm looking forward to that. And afterwards...my friend Erin and I, whom I haven't seen in months...are going to funkytown to visit the water gardens, museums and have lunch in the square. I'm really excited about that. On Saturday evening, I'm hanging with the old crew and I'm actually looking forward to it. I haven't see Lu or Jennifer or anyone else for that matter in such a long time. I think we're going to dinner and then maybe doing something fun (bar, bowling, haunted house, etc).

10) I'm going home on Sunday...I think I already need another break from Dallas...I'm going to spend the time with my mom, who has a REALLY GREAT chance at winning State Rep...so please keep her in your thoughts/prayers.

Well it's time to sign off here...I have a flyer to make, some checks to write and some errands to run. It's been nice venting...I need to do it more often.

not enough words

To John C. Sanchez,
You are a coward among other things. If only your mother and your family knew what kind of man you are... I hope that your son never becomes like you. And I hope Karma is a true bitch.

~someone who was once charmed into thinking that she loved you.