trusting people

So obviously I've been through a lot in the last three months...and by now I should have learned that you really can't trust anyone...but I didn't really realize that until tonight...and it was over something stupid.

I'm trying to sell a bunch of stuff...stuff that's lying around my house taking up space. So I'm selling my ghetto and crappy, but free-for-me cherry wood, four poster bed. I'm selling a coffee table, a torso track with ahem...VHS tapes. I'm selling a bunch of other household items too...so if you're interested, let me know.

So in the past three months...I've been lied to, cheated on, lied to some more, been screwed over "royally" and been screwed over again by a company. After all of this...why in the hell do I feel that there are decent people out there who won't cheat and lie and screw people over? Why do I keep falling for it? Am I too nice? Am I too naive? Who the fuck built my heart, because I want them to rebuild me. Rebuild my heart, rebuild my trust capabilities...

So I put this bed on Craigslist and get several hits...mostly just questions from people which is fine...but then this lady emails me and says she's always wanted a four poster bed and that mine is a good deal and that she wants it. She doesn't have access to a truck, but she will later on in the week on Friday. So I email her and tell her it's hers if she'll come by and get it on that Friday. She says okay and I wait. Friday comes...I try to contact her and don't receive any phone call, no email, no nothing. It pisses me off...b/c while it's not pertinent that I sale the damn thing...it's just a waste of my time...and she could have called.

That is what nice people do right?

Anyways...so I finally email her, "where are you?" She explains that the truck thing didn't work out and I explained to her that she could have easily called to tell me that. Duh! So she begs for me to keep the bed until today...where she'll pick it up today (Sunday) at 6. So I leave early from my parents house to get to Dallas so she can pick up the bed. I call at 5:30 and she says she's not coming that she could only hold onto this truck till Saturday. Why couldn't her bitchass call me on Saturday? I could have spent more time with my effin parents. Why couldn't she have emailed me? I mean what is wrong with people and their effin' communications skills?

Men do it. Friends do it. Family does it. No one communicates. That's why so many people (including myself) assume everything about anything. Hell maybe that's why I've stopped friendships with people b/c they couldn't communicate their thoughts, their feelings.

I'm just so tired of trusting people to be good. I mean my parents taught me to be honest and truthful and to communicate my feelings, and yes, maybe sometimes I don't like to do it face to face...but I AM a sensitive person...and email and letters are just as good when you don't want to show or you can't show what your feelings are. At least my thoughts are in words in front of your jerk ass eyes.

I'm just tired of it all. Where is my dream job out of Texas. I want out of here immediately. I am so tired of all the fucking crap that I've had to deal with lately! People say that God only gives you what you can handle to make you stronger...well I wish God would quit trying to decide what HE thinks I can handle. You don't fucking know me...you never have...so stay out of my fucking life.